Wego Health, My Dream Day

My Dream Day. Describe your ideal day. How would you spend your time? Who would you spend it with? Have you had this day? If not – how could you make it happen?

I would spend my dream day alone. I would wake up with a view of the water and go for an early morning run on the beach. I’d watch the sun rise over the water and return to stand on the deck with a strong cup of coffee. I’d read the paper with the squaking of the birds on the beach as my only companion. Leaving the windows open, I’d go back inside and sit down at my desk to write. I would write uninterrupted for hours, until I got hungry. Lunch would be a big steak salad with edamame, blue cheese, cold cucumbers and sweet potato fries….a bit of dark chocolate. Then I’d walk on the beach to digest and return to my desk to write until dark. The story would have enough room and time to breathe and to grow, and I’d return to my family feeling, for once, like I’d finished something I started.

Wego Health Day 8, a Conversation with my Son

Prompt: Best conversation I had this week. Try writing script-style (or with dialogue) today to recap an awesome conversation you had this week.

Reid, my 2 year old, sits in the jogger and I stand behind him. We’re at the front entrance of his brother’s elementary school waiting for Miles, my 7 year old to walk out the front door. Will, my 10 year old stands beside me. He stayed home sick again today with a cold, but I made him walk with me to get some fresh air. The sun is shining, it’s a warm, spring afternoon, but I’m grouchy. My blood sugar has been low all day, and both Reid and Will have been sick with colds–coughing and runny noses, low grade fevers. I haven’t been able to get any work done. Instead, I’ve spent all day with a cranky toddler shadowing my every move and Will, leaving a trail of tissues in his wake. I am feeling suffocated by this life with my children. The hours pass slowly and meaninglessly and I am short tempered with the boys. I feel like an animal at the zoo, boxed in.

“Hi Mom!” Miles walks toward us. Miles with his wild, thick, blonde, too long hair and his bright blue eyes. My beautiful, unpredictable boy.

“How was your day? I ask.

“Good. Mrs. Musci said I don’t have to do homework today because I beat my MAP score.”

“That’s great.” (One less thing to stress about, I think.) We walk past the car riders line and I can tell my blood sugar is dropping (again!) so I reach down into the jogger to grab the bottle of glucose tabs. The Kalediscope kids, the ones who stay after school until 5pm, are loud on the playground as we walk past and I sigh deeply. Tired.

“Mom,” Miles starts.

“Yes Miles,” I say, preparing myself for one of his long stories. He is looking at the trees. I wait.

“Mom,” he says again.

“What!?!” Will steals a glance at me, I can feel it. He knows I’m irritated, I’ve been that way all day. I didn’t believe that he was sick and pushed him to go to school. When he cried and whimpered I said, “Fine, stay home!” and he did. And I made him pay for all day with my grouchiness.

“You couldn’t pay me all the money in the world to go to Kalediscope after school.”

“Oh yeah?” I said, not really listening.

“You couldn’t pay me all the money in the whole, wide world. All the toys, all the Skylanders, all the 3DS or wii games. You wanna know why?”

“Why?”

“Because I want to stay home with you.”

“Really?” My heart was in my throat.

“Yes, really!”

You have no idea how much I needed to hear that,” I said. And it was all okay. We walked home together.

Wego Health Day 7, What’s Your Salmon Fishing in the Yemen Story?

Health Activist Choice! Write about what you want today….

Last night Dale and I saw the movie, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. It’s a story of overcoming unbelievable odds, of making the “impossible, possible.” It was cute, but I found myself rolling my eyes periodically. While my husband teared up at the end, I scoffed “yeah right” at the screen in my most sarcastic voice.

On the drive home I wondered why…why am I such a pessimist? Why can’t I get swept up in the romance of an unlikely outcome? This was a movie after all….a time to let go and escape, right?

I kept thinking about the movie on my run the next morning and realized it bothered me because it was about taking a leap of faith. As I ran I began to ask myself this question: When was the last time I took a leap of faith? I ran for 40 minutes and never came up with an answer.

My life as a 41 year old mom with type 1 diabetes is practical and scheduled. I wake up every morning at the same time, I go for a 3 mile run on the same route, I eat the same breakfast, I pack my kids the same lunches, I do the same laundry and make the same beds day after day after day. Routines make my life as a mom with diabetes easier to manage, but the movie got me thinking. Where is my salmon fishing in the yemen? Where is my big, dreamy, unpractical idea? What am I missing out on?

The other week my kids and I were driving home from dinner at my parents. As we drove over the Stono River, the sun melted into the water and I slowed down to point out the beauty to the boys in the backseat. It was a beautiful spring evening and with the windows down, the warm air blew the smell of the marsh through the car. “Let’s keep driving,” I said to the boys. “What, why?” they rumbled from the back seat. “Wouldn’t it be great to keep driving?” I said. “We could go all the way to Beaufort.” I imagined our van traveling through the darkness, checking into a bed and breakfast and waking up in the morning in a new place. “No, I wanna go home and see Dad,” Miles said. “Dad can come too,” I said but the boys shook their heads. I sighed and flipped the blinker, turning toward home. Of course we would go home, it was only a silly idea. I reassured them. I turned reluctantly. I drove slowly. I started at the view in the rear view mirror.

Wego Health Day 3, Superpower Day

I don’t want to be a superwoman. I cringe at the cliche term “supermom” because I think it does moms everywhere a disservice. I think it makes us feel like we should have all the balls in the air and be able to keep them there. If I had a superpower it would be to sleep soundly like Snow White. To lie down in the middle of the day and erase all the to-do’s from my head (for those of you who saw the movie, ‘I Don’t Know How She Does It” you know what I’m talking about.) I don’t want tips about keeping a list by the side of my bed so when I wake up in the middle of the night, and I am plagued by all the things I need to remember (pick up dry cleaning, wash baseball pants, get more milk, send in cupcakes to school, email so-and-so etc.etc.), I can write them down. I want to sleep, not write. I want Snow White’s spell induced sleep, the sleep of days, weeks, months and years….or even just the straight, eight hour, sleep through the night with no low or high blood sugars, no children in my bed kind of sleep. Bring it on.

In response to the Wego Health Activist Writing Challenge day 3: Superpower Day. If you had a superpower – what would it be? How would you use it?