I’ve written posts in the last week about wanting my diabetes to be in the passenger seat (instead of the driver’s seat) in the car of my life, as well as my personal challenge to wear my omnipod in a visible place on my body, aka. “In Plain Sight.” And as I was running this morning, I was thinking about these perhaps conflicting desires, and stared to question whether it was possible to have it both ways? Can I wear my omnipod on my arm or my stomach in plain sight (instead of the less visible lower back area), and can I move diabetes off my lap? If I wear the pod on my arm where I will notice it more frequently throughout the day, will I be able to think of myself as Amy first, and as a woman with diabetes second or even third on that list?
I’m struggling with this because I’m feeling a bit suffocated by diabetes right now. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I’ve written a book about diabetes and am now working on my second book about diabetes, and so much of my time is spent thinking and writing about diabetes. I also have 3 kids and a great husband and a handful of other people and activities I’d like to spend more time with and thinking about, but somehow I feel like diabetes has taken over. It hasn’t always been this way. I’ve lived with diabetes for 26 years and this is the first time in my life where diabetes has played such a staring role. There is more to me than being a woman with diabetes…..
I believe that living well with diabetes means finding a balance between managing my illness and living my life.
I want to have it both ways. I want to wear my pod where I can see it and I want to think about diabetes less. I’d like to believe that this is possible. I’ll let you know.