I had my first interview in over ten years yesterday and I was surprisingly calm. There is an opening for a proofreader in the marketing department at Kiawah where my husband works…I was sure some kind of sign or gut feeling would hit me and I’d know whether I should pursue this job. But none did. So I sent in my resume and when they emailed me back, I went in for an interview. And even though I read all kinds of conflicting going back to work after being a stay-at-home mom advice, I felt pretty confident and I think I did well. I think I could be in the running for this job and then what? What will it mean? (By the way, a lot of the “advice” I read recommended not asking for flex-time hours, but in the same article, talked about how 70% of working Moms wanted flex-time hours). That kind of pissed me off. Why couldn’t I ask for what I wanted? Some of you are probably smirking, thinking, well if you want the job you’ll follow the advice. But I am in the fortunate position of not being desperate, not yet, for a job. We can limp along a little while longer. So why apply? I’m not sure. I’m not a type A personality, I don’t like a plan, and I’m hoping the answer will come to me in a dream or some kind of sign from above……because I think I might be ready to go back to work and saying that out loud (in writing) doesn’t scare me as much as it did a few months ago. Don’t be conflicted, the advice also recommended and I wonder who they were writing to, who was the audience because it couldn’t be stay-at-home moms like me, because of course we are conflicted. Because how are we ever going to know when it’s time to go back to work, when our children will be old enough, and when our job skills will become obsolete, when?

So I ignored the advice and went to my interview and was honest and maybe I won’t get the job but maybe that will be my sign from above. Or maybe I will get the job and will be able to ask for flex-time and maybe, just maybe, I’ll get what I want.

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