I had to take a personality type test when I filled out all my employment forms at The Citadel Writing Center recently and surprise, surprise, I am an INFP. I last took the test with Dale almost 9 years ago for our pre-marriage counseling and was an INFP. So, nothing has changed. Though I do find the questions too easy to read and to determine how my answer will define me, it is fascinating to read the results. 1% of the population is an INFP. Wow. I keep reading, and think, yes, yes, this is me! This is why I am introverted, why people think I am a snob but am really just shy, and slow to warm to others, this is why I am always with my head in the clouds, and idealistic, why I am always looking for praise and reassurance,this is why I like to work alone and get tense when it’s time for group projects, it’s all there! It’s a relief to read these descriptions about myself and think, it’s okay to be this way, this is the way I am built.
It’s also reassuring as I struggle to write my essay about careers for skirt!, and re-enter the world of graduate school and graduate assistantships (half-hearted). It’s reassuring because in the list of careers that are good for INFP’s, teaching is actually listed. So is being an “excellent writer” (William Shakespeare, Annie Dillard and Amy Tan are INFP’s) but I am more relieved to see teaching because I am so scared that I’m setting myself up for failure…….as an introvert, someone who likes to work alone, how can I get up in front of a classroom and teach?
All I want to do is write. This is what I love, why must I put it on the back burner to be practical? Why can’t I follow my dream? Can what you love be your career, or does making money from what you love destroy your love?